So it’s been awhile since I’ve posted, since last fall to be exact. It seems as though whenever I have something on my mind that I don’t want to bore anyone else with, I post on here.

So recently I decided to quit my job waitressing at Sabatini’s. I haven’t been happy working there for quite some time, and when I was cut from working 4 days a week to 2 days a week, I knew it was time to leave.

I had an entire day of applying for jobs and sending out resumes. I had 3 interviews in one day, and got offered all 3 jobs. It was incredible.

I ended up taking a new job at the new restaurant in Oneonta, called The Red Caboose. The change in environment was such a relief. I didn’t feel so stressed or worried about my job security.

I guess all I can say is that I made a change, a change for me. Not for anyone else. And it felt great.

So here is to new beginnings, and being able to say I live my own life.

And if you must, #YOLO.

So I’m not one to really talk about relationships, because honestly, I barely have the experience to back up any argument.

But when I was in high school, being in a relationship was easy. Even though it was my senior year, I had plenty of time to solve issues or talk problems out with my partner.

Then college hit. I didn’t think that I was THAT busy my first semester, but it seemed that we were fighting more and more, more then we ever had. There were times that I had to choose homework over him, or bring my homework with me when I went to see him, and where’s the joy in that?

I didn’t want to see what was happening, so when he broke up with me because we were barely getting along anymore, I thought he was crazy.

Spring semester? Well I had fun, just like anyone else does. But it was different because I told every guy I was seeing that I didn’t want a relationship. I wasn’t ready to move on again into a serious relationship, not after the way I had been hurt in the last one.

Then came the summer, and everyone went their separate ways. I live in the middle of nowhere, and was working all summer. Didn’t exactly permit me to meet anyone.

So now I’m back at college, and it’s barely the end of the first week of classes, and I already know I can’t have a relationship.

I am going to be so incredibly busy this semester, I don’t even know how I’m going to maintain anything, let alone worrying about someone else’s life too! That doesn’t mean that I won’t find someone that I like, or that I don’t like someone right now, but I can’t do it.

I wouldn’t have the time, or patience, to dedicate to a relationship. I’m sorry, but if you can’t put in the time, then why bother? Not only is the relationship not going to last very long, but you might lose the friendship of that person, and that isn’t worth it.

So I guess what I’m saying is to those of you who can maintain a relationship in college, cheers to you.

“You know, I really just don’t see the point of relationships anymore. Way too many people who are unhappy stay together. It’s sickening.”

“You know what? Someday a guy is going to come and sweep you off your feet. You are going to fall head over heels for him, and maybe then you will understand.”

“I doubt it, I can’t see that happening. I don’t know what I want in a guy. I know I always go for the nice guys, but then, ironically, they’re too nice. I mean sometimes people fight, no one can be nice all the time. But then if I go for a complete asshole, I’m hurt when he acts like a jerk, or ironically again, an asshole. So who’s left? That’s right, no one.”

“But there is! That one person who is meant for you.”

“What? A soulmate? I don’t believe in fairytales.”

“You’ll see, mark my words, you’ll see.”

“Whatever you say, it’s not going to happen. It’s not that I don’t fall in love. I mean, I am still human. Everyone falls in love. But that doesn’t mean I have to devote my whole being to that person so that they can just turn around and change their mind, and break my heart.”

“The right person won’t do that!”

“Yeah well you can go on believing whatever you want, whatever makes you sleep better at night. But for me, I’m going to keep living life the best way that I know how.”

Moving back into college is bittersweet. I mean, I’m so glad to be in a room by myself where I can be alone with my thoughts. At the same time, I can’t have my puppy here, and that kills me. He’s my best friend, or at least was for the whole summer. It’s going to be hard to sleep at night for awhile, but I suppose I’ll get used to it….

I may be a paranoid person, but this hurricane is scaring the shot out of me. I’m so concerned about the people o NYC. I feel like the mayor waited too long to start evacuating people. You though katrina was bad? This could be so much worse. FEMA has already ordered 500,000 coffins. They know it’s going to be bad. I just can’t stand being up here, being mostly safe, while people will be dying.

May god bless the people of NYC. They’re going to need it.

Is there really such a thing as a coincidence?

I mean, if the things that happened, didn’t happened, then the current things wouldn’t be happening, if that makes sense :P

I believe in signs, and things happening for a reason.

Everything I have now is based on things that I used to have, and things that I have worked for.

I don’t worry about things happening or not, because they are meant to be, they will be, right?

I guess that is a sugar-coated way to look at life, but is the alternative really worth it?

Should I sit around being upset about things that didn’t work out? or things I know won’t work out?

Of course not!

Live life to the fullest, whatever that may mean :)

Cause life is too short to do it any other way <3

You can never forget the past.

You may put it in the back of your mind, or set it aside, but it is never forgotten.

Perhaps it is a familiar scent or sound.

Maybe even a photo taken awhile ago… you will be reminded.

It’s not a bad thing to remember the past, because with time, the pain becomes less, and all you feel is a slight sadness at what was, or what could have been.

Though if those things didn’t end, you might not have the things you do now.

I know that for me, only eight months ago, I thought my whole world had ended.

But I was wrong.

If what had happened to me hadn’t happened, I would be no where’s near to where I am now, and who I am suppose to be.

Of course I miss the past, but if it wasn’t for the changes that the past made, I couldn’t move on to the future.

And that would be a damn shame <3.

-Cassie

“If you feel like leaving, I’m not gonna make you stay. But soon you’ll finding, you can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love.”

So, this song just came on my pandora account, and in a way, it is fitting tonight.

I find that sometimes, I can’t seem to control my emotions, and I know you’re not suppose to be able to, but you should be able to manage them.

In some ways, I wish that I could explain the actions that I do. I wish I knew why I liked this person, or why I can’t forget this person.

If it was easy, would it be worth it though?