Chowe!

New beginnings

Sat, 23 Jun 2012 13:34:38 -0400

So it’s been awhile since I’ve posted, since last fall to be exact. It seems as though whenever I have something on my mind that I don’t want to bore anyone else with, I post on here.

So recently I decided to quit my job waitressing at Sabatini’s. I haven’t been happy working there for quite some time, and when I was cut from working 4 days a week to 2 days a week, I knew it was time to leave.

I had an entire day of applying for jobs and sending out resumes. I had 3 interviews in one day, and got offered all 3 jobs. It was incredible.

I ended up taking a new job at the new restaurant in Oneonta, called The Red Caboose. The change in environment was such a relief. I didn’t feel so stressed or worried about my job security.

I guess all I can say is that I made a change, a change for me. Not for anyone else. And it felt great.

So here is to new beginnings, and being able to say I live my own life.

And if you must, #YOLO.

relationships

Fri, 09 Sep 2011 00:32:49 -0400

So I’m not one to really talk about relationships, because honestly, I barely have the experience to back up any argument.

But when I was in high school, being in a relationship was easy. Even though it was my senior year, I had plenty of time to solve issues or talk problems out with my partner.

Then college hit. I didn’t think that I was THAT busy my first semester, but it seemed that we were fighting more and more, more then we ever had. There were times that I had to choose homework over him, or bring my homework with me when I went to see him, and where’s the joy in that?

I didn’t want to see what was happening, so when he broke up with me because we were barely getting along anymore, I thought he was crazy.

Spring semester? Well I had fun, just like anyone else does. But it was different because I told every guy I was seeing that I didn’t want a relationship. I wasn’t ready to move on again into a serious relationship, not after the way I had been hurt in the last one.

Then came the summer, and everyone went their separate ways. I live in the middle of nowhere, and was working all summer. Didn’t exactly permit me to meet anyone.

So now I’m back at college, and it’s barely the end of the first week of classes, and I already know I can’t have a relationship.

I am going to be so incredibly busy this semester, I don’t even know how I’m going to maintain anything, let alone worrying about someone else’s life too! That doesn’t mean that I won’t find someone that I like, or that I don’t like someone right now, but I can’t do it.

I wouldn’t have the time, or patience, to dedicate to a relationship. I’m sorry, but if you can’t put in the time, then why bother? Not only is the relationship not going to last very long, but you might lose the friendship of that person, and that isn’t worth it.

So I guess what I’m saying is to those of you who can maintain a relationship in college, cheers to you.

I am in love with this song. I can’t get it out of my...

Thu, 08 Sep 2011 12:36:10 -0400

I am in love with this song. I can’t get it out of my head, and let’s face it, Selena Gomez is gorgeous.

<3

Sun, 04 Sep 2011 21:24:29 -0400

“You know, I really just don’t see the point of relationships anymore. Way too many people who are unhappy stay together. It’s sickening.”

“You know what? Someday a guy is going to come and sweep you off your feet. You are going to fall head over heels for him, and maybe then you will understand.”

“I doubt it, I can’t see that happening. I don’t know what I want in a guy. I know I always go for the nice guys, but then, ironically, they’re too nice. I mean sometimes people fight, no one can be nice all the time. But then if I go for a complete asshole, I’m hurt when he acts like a jerk, or ironically again, an asshole. So who’s left? That’s right, no one.”

“But there is! That one person who is meant for you.”

“What? A soulmate? I don’t believe in fairytales.”

“You’ll see, mark my words, you’ll see.”

“Whatever you say, it’s not going to happen. It’s not that I don’t fall in love. I mean, I am still human. Everyone falls in love. But that doesn’t mean I have to devote my whole being to that person so that they can just turn around and change their mind, and break my heart.”

“The right person won’t do that!”

“Yeah well you can go on believing whatever you want, whatever makes you sleep better at night. But for me, I’m going to keep living life the best way that I know how.”

Moving back to college

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 22:48:38 -0400

Moving back into college is bittersweet. I mean, I’m so glad to be in a room by myself where I can be alone with my thoughts. At the same time, I can’t have my puppy here, and that kills me. He’s my best friend, or at least was for the whole summer. It’s going to be hard to sleep at night for awhile, but I suppose I’ll get used to it….

Irene

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 21:01:46 -0400

I may be a paranoid person, but this hurricane is scaring the shot out of me. I’m so concerned about the people o NYC. I feel like the mayor waited too long to start evacuating people. You though katrina was bad? This could be so much worse. FEMA has already ordered 500,000 coffins. They know it’s going to be bad. I just can’t stand being up here, being mostly safe, while people will be dying.

May god bless the people of NYC. They’re going to need it.

Coincidence?

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 22:38:18 -0400

Is there really such a thing as a coincidence?

I mean, if the things that happened, didn’t happened, then the current things wouldn’t be happening, if that makes sense :P

I believe in signs, and things happening for a reason.

Everything I have now is based on things that I used to have, and things that I have worked for.

I don’t worry about things happening or not, because they are meant to be, they will be, right?

I guess that is a sugar-coated way to look at life, but is the alternative really worth it?

Should I sit around being upset about things that didn’t work out? or things I know won’t work out?

Of course not!

Live life to the fullest, whatever that may mean :)

Cause life is too short to do it any other way <3

Letting Go

Sun, 07 Aug 2011 22:46:00 -0400

You can never forget the past.

You may put it in the back of your mind, or set it aside, but it is never forgotten.

Perhaps it is a familiar scent or sound.

Maybe even a photo taken awhile ago… you will be reminded.

It’s not a bad thing to remember the past, because with time, the pain becomes less, and all you feel is a slight sadness at what was, or what could have been.

Though if those things didn’t end, you might not have the things you do now.

I know that for me, only eight months ago, I thought my whole world had ended.

But I was wrong.

If what had happened to me hadn’t happened, I would be no where’s near to where I am now, and who I am suppose to be.

Of course I miss the past, but if it wasn’t for the changes that the past made, I couldn’t move on to the future.

And that would be a damn shame <3.

-Cassie

Lovely

Sun, 22 May 2011 00:17:06 -0400

“If you feel like leaving, I’m not gonna make you stay. But soon you’ll finding, you can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love.”

So, this song just came on my pandora account, and in a way, it is fitting tonight.

I find that sometimes, I can’t seem to control my emotions, and I know you’re not suppose to be able to, but you should be able to manage them.

In some ways, I wish that I could explain the actions that I do. I wish I knew why I liked this person, or why I can’t forget this person.

If it was easy, would it be worth it though?

"Someday everything will make perfect sense. So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the..."

Sat, 21 May 2011 01:00:00 -0400

““Someday everything will make perfect sense. So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.””

-

Inspiration

Sat, 21 May 2011 00:55:24 -0400

So, I started this blog, and then neglected it… or rather don’t have the time or need to keep up with it. I guess tonight, I just feel like talking, but not to anyone in particular… just talking.

This whole semester at college has seemed to pass by in a blur, in good ways and bad ways. I have made a ton of friends, and I’m thankful for that. As for academics, I’ve realized what’s best for me.

I got accepted to Cornell University… and I turned the opportunity down. All my life I have been telling people about my master plan to become a vet, when in reality, I love theater. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of it. Perhaps I am lacking on knowledge of it, but that’s what I plan on focusing on for the next 3 years. Finding out what part of theater I want to explore, and what career path I want to choose.

In case it’s unclear, I changed from a Biology major to a Theater major. Quite a jump to say the least.

There were a lot of things in my life holding me back from achieving what I wanted. Perhaps last semester it was a boy, a boy who had higher hopes for me then I felt that I could achieve. This semester, it was the need to follow the path that it seemed that I was destined to follow. Finally I just woke up and looked around at my life, and I wasn’t happy where it was headed.

That is the biggest thing to learn in life. If you aren’t happy with what you’re doing, then do something about it. Step on a few toes, turn a few heads. In the end, it’s all worth it. I don’t care if people say I’m going to end up poor on the streets living in a cardboard box. I have plenty of friends willing to be sitting right there next to me.

I’m done doing what everyone else wants me to do. It’s time for me to live my life, and I will let no one hold me back from doing that.

Wow, I actually feel a lot better now getting that off of my chest. I’m just tired of people telling me I can’t do things. I CAN. And I will.

I hope that perhaps someone else will read this, and they will become inspired. Or maybe they will think I’m insane, but you know what?

Join the club, because man, people are crazy.

Done.

Sat, 19 Feb 2011 22:27:34 -0500

Well, now that my solo performance class is officially over, I can finally stop reliving my relationship with Ben.

In a way, the monologue really is shedding the baggage that is Ben Kaiser. I am tired of thinking about those nine months, and how I was blinded for most of the time, and couldn’t see what was actually going on.

I guess the question I keep asking myself, is if I regret that relationship. The truth is, I don’t. It taught me a hell of a lot of things, not just about myself, but about others.

One thing I did realize is, I don’t know what I want. I don’t want a relationship, because I don’t even know what I’m looking for anymore. I don’t know if I want to commit to anyone.

Actually, that is 100% correct. I don’t want commitment. I want to have fun, make friends, and start a completely new life.

Fuck the past, and hello future. I’m done with all the complication.

Post-Valentine's Day

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 20:48:13 -0500

Now, I was going to write a post yesterday about Valentine’s Day, but it seems that I never got around to it. What a shame right?

Well, it wasn’t terrible as I thought it was going to be. I mean, only a few people acknowledged the day, which I has thankful for. I gave one gift to my roommate, and posted on only one person’s facebook wall. Pretty good, I think.

I had already made an anti-valentine video, so I simply just re-posted that. I also posted a video on a friend’s page.

As for my outfit? Well I wore black, and a skirt that had hearts with lines through them. Very anti-vday, I think.

Though I will say one thing. Yesterday completely cut off any plans that I might have wanted. That is all I will say about that.

Sunday

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 11:06:50 -0500

Alright, well it is the day before spring classes start, and I am extremely lazy >< I mean, here I am laying in bed while typing this, seriously thinking about going back to sleep…

But, I am having lunch in about an hour, and should get ready… I also need to still order my books. Talk about procrastination?

I mean, I know things will work out, but if I want to survive this next semester, I really need to get my act together. I’m taking 17 credits, plus the equestrian team, plus possible stage manager for the main stage.

Crazy right? Compared to last semester, yes. Plus, I plan on having fun this semester. Last semester I wasn’t “allowed” to go out, but hell, no the strings are gone and I’m free.

I plan on having fun, making friends, and making this semester count.

Riding

Wed, 09 Feb 2011 17:12:25 -0500

So, this is my first post. I’m really glad that I decided to come to Hartwick for Feb break, because riding so much feels really great! On the other hand, I am extremely tired!! I am literally falling asleep while I am writing this…. But anyways.

I figured that since I like to talk so much, and I am alone right now, I should start a tumblr account. Why? Because I have no life. If anyone actually follows this, I will be impressed. I can’t imagine that anything I will write will be interesting, but I shall try :)

Alrighty then, see y’all soon!